I too think about my therapist every day and have become very attached so I really appreciate what you are going through. I have read your backstory and we have a lot of similarities. At times it can feel overwhelming and also distracts me from things going on in my everyday life. I find myself thinking about therapy, my therapist or myself in therapy at least 90% of the time and it bothers me as not only is it all-encompassing and I have other things I should be thinking of but I feel that I have become self-obsessed which I don't think I was before therapy begun. I try to tell myself that right now this is what I need to concentrate on myself more at least temporarily in order to get to where I want to be although not entirely sure where that is. I'm hoping that with time or maybe even when therapy ends that it will all begin to ease off a bit and my focus will begin to balance out onto other areas of my life.

I bring up the yearning, love and longing feelings I have every few sessions when they become too overwhelming to ignore although we don't ever really mention the word transference or attachment itself. At times the feelings can be so so painful that it feels almost like my heart is breaking. It's difficult to explain to someone who has never experienced it but from reading your post it sounds like you have had a similar experience. I find it really helps to bring the them out into the open and even helps to lessen them somewhat. My T has always responded with great empathy and understanding though, which is a huge part of being able to speak about it in a safe and reassuring environment. He tells me that I won't feel like this forever and it will eventually lessen but I don't see how. I am trying to trust in what he says and really hoping he is speaking from experience but that is very difficult too.

Speaking about it has greatly helped and IMO an important part of the process. It can be scary and often it is difficult to find the words but you can do it. If you have a good therapist she will be able to take all that you have to say and not let it affect her or your relationship. Maybe it might be helpful to start by telling her that you find it difficult to talk about the feelings you have for her but that you want to explore them more. Some people suggest if you have difficulty saying what you want that it can be helpful to write it down on paper and hand it to your T in the session.