I can relate, in fact what you say really resonates with my own deeper issues, so I hope I can be helpful.
I speak from my own experience, but by now, also from understanding from reading, I was so desperate that I read loads.
(I'll call it exiles - more friendly that schiz) - we tend to have a history of having been invaded in some way, so I can understand about feeling over exposed. I was toxically invaded by my mother and my acting out was in relationships that hurt me. I believe I was trying to get to the internal place where I'd been invaded to get it out. I think self harm is also part of the exille disorder.

- and also, the other extreme, pouring it all out with great need but little boundaries or caution, - yup, done that binthere, got uncomfortabel T. shirt. !
that could also be the 'slave-master' relationship, having no boundaries to protect us, ie, slaves have no right to protect themselves. And also the power that the health team has - however real that is? - it still feels real like that. I know I have been harmed by health care profs, its true, but I believe you can also protect yourself.

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I feel they took advantage of my vulnerable state to extract information out of me for their own gain - to make their job easier. I hate the fact that my nurse has the power to have me put into hospital against my will. I have had nighmares about it.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Yes, I totally id with these feelings and experiences.

and that running away to where no-one knows you, - well that was my exact dream when i was at boarding school, and I did run away. It was a sort of feeling specifically of 'where no one knows me', that was a powerful element for me, the anonymity, like I could be free of something.......... in exile to be free, because to know me is to shame me or to use me, thats where that one came from I think.
I hope we keep talking, pm if you like, what you say does make sense, the understandings all available, some people have done some really good work in this.

river.