That all sounds really harsh. Sorry that you've had to put up with so much horrible thoughts and feelings in your life.
I can understand the cleanliness of the kitchen because I have OCD and I can understand not wanting to be touched as I was this way about my feet for many years and wore shoes as often as possible and if I were barefoot around others wearing shoes I would feel vulnerable. And I believe that many people when severely depressed will skip baths/showers sometimes or until it gets to the point where they have to bathe. Are you currently seeing a psychiatrist or therapist about any of this? If not, I highly recommend that you do and I hope that all goes well for you from here on out.