Im calling case manager Monday to talk about giving up on the disability or if I can work a little without messing it up… because I have to do something to get out of here…

Feeling really spacey. . forgetful… having a hard time focusing even though I'm telling myself it's not that much I have to do… just a phone call.. I think there is a job waiting for me too.. At a brick place. .

Big life change.. Its hard to know who I am because I've done broken so many aspects of who I was. .

But I've made my mind up and am getting out/away somehow someway…

Working would keep me from using all day too. .

Just in conflict at a crossroad..