I developed feelings of emotional dependency, obsession, longing, desire for one therapist. Eventually i just told her (though I did not mention the obsession). She handled it ok in some respects, but didn't matter. It was an absolute train wreck, because the whole thing was dysfunctional to the core. There was nothing to be gained from such bizarre, one-way, purchased pseudo-intimacy. I could have opted to keep the feelings to myself, but that would have been equally toxic.

My only suggestion would be to recognize, fully, the insane and brutal situation you have been put in by this process. And if you are feeling major distress, I would drop all of that s**t on the therapist, who you are paying presumably to look after your psychological health and to at least not make things worse for you.

In my opinion, feeling worse as you are is NOT progress, NOT a breakthrough, and NOT a sign that the magical forces of transference are manifesting to save you. You don't have to drink that kool-aid.

And you should not feel ashamed. Therapy is very very seductive. It provokes intense, addictive longings. It sounds like you are just following your innate drives and needs. Nothing wrong with that. But in my experience it's entirely the wrong context for such needs and longings to come out. Ain't your fault though.