I now know what suicidal people feel like. I hate my life. I live with relatives that I detest. They are somewhat abusive towards me. I walk on eggshells all day. I have hardly any friends They use me. I do not have a boyfriend but I let men use me. I go after sex as a way to find love and it never works. My ex husband was abusive to me also. and my kids don't like me.
I feel utter hopelessness and hate everything. I hate my life so much. it is not what I wanted at all. I want to make money, to move, to have my own place to have friends. I want a boyfriend. I lay in bed all day when I am not working.
sometimes I feel so horrible I can't stand it, like I want to just escape and go crazy but I have no where to go.