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Lennie said:
But why on earth is my evil mind thinking about hurting these people? Actually, not hurting them physically...just scaring them a little bit - trying to take the 'upperhand' so to speak.
I should just lock myself away from the world

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I use to have rescue fantasies; where a bridge would collapse and my car would fall into the water and I'd have to swim with my niece almost too far and I'd be unconscious in the hospital and my therapist would come visit me, the only one who could bring me out of my coma, etc. :-)

If one can't control how one is treated, one can have all sorts of fantasies about what we do to the other people, etc. It's a comforting but dangerous game we play. It's dangerous because we don't have to confront the person in real time, don't have to worry about their response and if they try to take it out on us, etc. But we get further and further away from reality and that's never good. The more we get in the habit of fantasizing instead of responding to what is actually in front of us, the "sicker" we get and the harder to get out of the hole we're digging with our habit.