I'm so sorry to hear about all this, alpaca! It sounds like your T became very antagonistic and rough with you at the end, it must have been really upsetting. Here is the person you're supposed to feel safe with, and he becomes almost combative and grabs your wrist and threatens the police? That is truly awful.

I wouldn't focus too much on this word, psychosis. You had a bad thing happen, where someone you should have been able to trust was quite hostile to you. This could have triggered memories from childhood where someone you should have been able to trust became aggressive. That could be re-traumatizing and cause some fairly extreme reactions, I could understand that. Especially given the strong transference you felt for your old T.

I really like an American psychiatrist and researcher named Colin Ross. He runs a couple of inpatient trauma-focused programs, and has collected quite a lot of data over the years. His data show that regardless of the diagnosis -- no matter how we label it -- people's symptoms improve when their trauma is addressed. This includes even things which people think of as genetic, such as schizophrenia (which has a strong correlation with abuse in childhood).

My point is that whatever words are used to describe your situation, and regardless of this term "psychotic episode," if you can continue to find gentle people to help you through processing the trauma in your childhood, I think you can find a great deal of relief from your suffering over time.

I'm glad that you've seen what various care providers are like, so that hopefully it can help you find those gentler people to help you in the future. I now wonder if perhaps some of your anxiety was coming from having a T who didn't match your needs, and it was not just from your own social anxiety; maybe he was not a good T for you is all. Really glad to see you here and again and hear your update, I hope you go back to posting regularly.