I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist a few months ago. My problem is, before the drinking I had forgotten completely what attachment felt like/was. It’s a an issue because I WANT the feeling, but I am unable. I have no emotional attachment to my family. And my two close friends are the ones in trying to work with in terms of learning to foster healthy attachments. My inability to connect to people lies in fear and lack of trust/paranoia. The only reason I find it so upsetting is bc when I felt attached again I realized on what I was missing out in life while everyone else seemed to be able to feel this so seamlessly. It made me realize that I was functioning different, and that is was the reason I could not feel loved/empathy/etc. I’d gotten used to a very empty and cold version of my own reality to the point where I felt as though it was completely normal. When in fact I was actually dying! Freaky stuff. Now it’s all just navigating my headspace... finding the missing keys and working with it. Learning for to keep coherent thoughts, etc. I hope this made any sense and explained some things