I just need to let out my feelings & thoughts right now.

I am not sure if I can continue with him. I found out something about him that has me seriously questioning the possibility of a future, and I think I may need to cut my losses. I don't want to talk openly about it yet because I want to sit with my own thoughts right now on the matter without input.

But I feel disheartened and disappointed. It's not like I had such high hopes -- I was just going with the flow of things to see how things unfolded, and I don't feel very emotionally attached yet. I am attached to all the fun we were having, but I can do that on my own, too, without him.

PS: edited to say: now I am crying. Maybe I DID have high hopes.

I am beginning to think I should wander this earth alone for the rest of my life. I'm 47 and nothing seems to ever work out. I have dated PLENTY of men. I've had a ton of boyfriends and relationships. I'm sick of this crap. I cannot find a decent person to be with.