I think oversensitive is the wrong word. I'ld say you were unrealistic. That's not because I think the dynamics of your patents/son relationship can't change. It can. They didn't need to get all up out of your business. You needed to get them up out of your business. They need to meddle and be pains in the @$$es. That's what they need. But you don't have to be an easy target.

This is not the first thread where someone tried to improve stressful family dynamics by writing a letter . . . a reasonable, calm letter, putting cards on the table in an orderly manner and even expressing love and the heartfelt desire that things should be better. It never, never, ever works. Never. It just ramps up the defensiveness of the person(s) who receive the letter.

Your parents are never going to change. Don't bother asking them to. How the are is the only way they know how to be. But you can possibly modify their behavior somewhat by changing yours. Rather than writing a reasonable letter, it might be more effective to just blow up on them from time to time. The best way to do it is to not really get upset on the inside. Just get all upset on the outside. Then, about a month later, apologize for getting upset. Keep them completely confused about how you might react to button-pushing behavior. You've probably been too predictable all your life.

If your mother was successful at meddling in your management of your own family, then you are the one who needs to build and maintain effective boundaries. Your healthy boundaries don't depend on other people being respectful. They depend on you making them strong enough to withstand the pressure. If everyone was respectful, we wouldn't need to work very much on boundaries. Disrespectful people in our families do us the favor of motivating us to craft effective boundaries. And they find the weak spots and let us know where we need to reinforce the barricades. Think of it as a game and you can have fun with it. Sometimes all you need is a picket fence. Sometimes you need ramparts worthy of a medievil castle, surrounded by an alligator moat . . . with snipers patroling the parapets. If Mom is great at laying siege and breaching the battlements, then you just gotta up your game at fortifying the defenses. It's a learned skill. Work at it and you can only get better.

The "hate" you think you feel is your complete exasperation over how they always beat you at the game. That's only because you haven't been playing to win. Instead you think, "I shouldn't be going through this with my parents!" Wrong. To paraphrase Vice President Cheney, you've gotta deal with the parents you have, not the ones you wish you had.

I'm glad they're in good health. Someday they won't be. You didn't lose your parents. They will need you. Try not to predict the future. Wait and see what plays out. For now, the pressure of the constant meddling is lessened. Enjoy that. Your mother is not a likeable person, but you've chosen to love her. That takes character and strength on your part. Stick with it. It's a manly way to be. That doesn't mean you have to an easy target for her to take pot shots at. It's okay once in a while to say, "Hey Ma, knock it off."