I had a really bad weekend. R always has this one spot on monday evenings, but he charges extra for it. I emailed on Sunday asking if I could see him on monday and this morning as well I sent another email saying I would just do it on my own. He hasn't replied to either. I've never called.I know I'm dramatic but I'm struggling to hold on to these stupid feelings until tomorrow without hurting myself.

I emailed him because I just really want someone to help me. I hate being in my head. I hate my life. I feel but he's the only one I have right now and I'm going insane.

My parents aren't picking up. My brother is away.