Hi Rose76 -

Thanks so very much for your informative, wise response. I can tell you've seen this scenario before....

I see your point about the how useless a letter turns out to be - I agree completely. It was a different attempt at drawing boundaries that didn't work. Instead, I should have been more forceful with verbal responses when the boundaries were "breached", as you eloquently say.....

After my post last night, I was still so angered that I sent my Mom the following text (breaking my own rule of talking/texting when emotional):

"I lied to you on Christmas Eve when I said I wasn't upset about your moving out west. I'm very upset and hurt - this move was obviously your knee-jerk reaction to my letter - that's very clear. You could have read my letter with a more positive perspective, and then talked it out with me. Instead .... you've scolded me in public, ignored text messages (2), never reached out to talk it out, etc. You've both done an outstanding job of making a loving, caring son feel like a no good piece of ****........so, I won't lie again tonight, I don't see any reason why we "surely" need to see each other before you leave."

Based on your recommendations, it seems as though this emotional push back last night wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Already today, they've tried to call twice, and tried to get my spouse to intervene. I think it's best to leave it as is for now, until I am less angry and emotional. And then, as you say, I can come back in a month or so and try again with less anger - if possible (although I'm not sure I agree that I need to "apologize for getting upset")

Feel free to provide a little more commentary, based on the text I sent last night. But regardless.....you response was invaluable to me, and I will keep and read it over and over and over ....

Best wishes,

-Vinpin