I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. Maybe talk to someone in person or a group? I went to a group thru med. plan for 6 years, once a week mainly to be around people. Stopped groups last year when started talking more abot self and my weaknesses. Even fhough totally comfortable with very nice people and moderator(s). When doing better, OK to be alone during the day. Have a girlfriend of 21 yrs., extremely fortunate but when depressed I'm really a burden on her mentally. Now at 67, barely leave the bedroom, apt. Really lonely, talk to self,etc. I feel so guilty not being able to fully support her mentally. She's a caretaker, one of sweetest people in the world. Main goal is to stay out of hospital which has never really helped me. Twice in last 8 yrs. In mental area of hosp. Sorry talking so much about me. I really hope you get the support you deserve. Take care