Quote:
Originally Posted by madisgram
I know it's a hard thing to rein ourselves in. My sister realized she had a problem when I was about 20 years sober. I could hear my lips going when I knew I needed to let her find her own way. I later apologized to her. Today she is 9 years sober without my two cents worth, lol! Perhaps suggest to your daughter to ask her sponsor that question. You can add your own perspective also but keep it simple.
First off here's my perspective, had you gotten step 1 down after 60 days sober? No "reservations"? I can't say I had accomplished step 1 fully at that point. And totally surrendered? Perhaps you had it down pat by then but most of us don't. It's the biggest change we will accomplish to remain sober. Personally I never rush this step with my sponsees. It's crucial they have the time to adjust to a better way of life. Sounds like she was working the program when she was so honest about struggling with step 1. That is a good sign.
My sponsor who is 90+ in age and 65 yrs sober gave me good advice as does the big book. It is better to not interfere/or become a secondary sponsor with a loved one or good friend. It is confusing to that person who may be getting conflicting signals while they are so fragile. Plus imagine the stress we can put them under!
I admire your honesty too. And I understand completely how you feel. You wish for your daughter to remain sober as I did my sister. One thing you can do that will help you both is to consider a small home meeting with you and your daughter plus sober friends of yours and newcomers too. The step book or big book is a great choice for that regular meeting in your home or elsewhere. A small group conducted like a sanctioned meeting. Everyone will have time to share and learn...yes I too still learn as I am sure you do too. I hope my comments may help. I am so happy for you and your daughter! I'll be praying for her continued sobriety. 
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Thank you so much for your perspective. I'm very much comforted by what you are saying! Of course, I said nothing to her about it. She did recently talk to my wife about it, just since I've posted here. My daughter said that she just couldn't accept the fact that she could never drink again and that's why she felt stuck. My wife's wise response is that no one expects her to make that commitment. She told her that the only commitment time-wise she needs to make to stay sober is to not drink today today. My wife is not an alcoholic, btw.
Thanks for the time you took with me here.