I am 16 currently. Will turn 17 in March. I am completely alone right now.

My mother is going through her menopause and she's being really really really bad. I ended up being depressed for months. And she found that annoying. She started calling me ***** repeatedly for being depressed and zoning out from the world and my family.
So, I maintained this diary where I recorded my feelings of disgust, hate and angst, specifically for her. Why? Because I don't have any friends anymore and I don't go to school anymore. I do nothing all day.
So, I realized lately that this diary was making me bottle up my emotions more because writing them out made me stick them to mind and every time I saw her face, I remembered those bitter words inked in that diary.
So, last night, I blurted out how much I was pissed off with her behavior. How bad of a mother she was to me and my brother. I told her she was selfish and she was raising me just to get support in her old age.
She called me a medically mentally retarded person just like my paternal lineage. My father is on meds for schizophrenia. But you know, my mother is not cooperative at all. Whenever his condition goes out of control (even a little bit) she goes on to the doctor and uses really shameful ways to convince the doctor to have his dosage up. I know you won't believe me and say that "I'm thinking too much!" but I wish that was true. She herself admitted this indirectly, "To live without trouble, you've to be a little unfaithful and indecent sometimes."
And she comfortably says that she feels that "infidelity" is the best way to distract yourself from pain of failed marriage. Though of course, she demands me to stay decent and well behaved and ideal child of hers throughout my life which I will, because I'm not ****ed up like her. True, I supported her because she's gone through a lot too in the past (she suffered domestic violence and marital rape since she got married and until the day I turned 13) but then she never took care of me as a child. She didn't know what I was doing at school even when I wanted to tell her, she plainly refused me to do so. And don't think she was depressed or something! She would cheerily talk to the maid and the neighbors and relatives as if she was having a great time. If you think she was masking her emotions, well, no, she wasn't! She used to narrate her ordeals every day to every single person she knew. That is, she clearly never bottled up her emotions (no surprise why she always appeared cheery most of the time) but whenever she looked at me, a look of disgust was apparent, and I swear she tried her best to hide that look! Because I had started getting good grades for the sake of seeking her attention.
But whenever she got tired of my dad's behavior, she didn't back away reminding me how disgusted she is to have my existence in this world.

And it's not she has a universal bad taste in kids. In her early twenties, she used to live with her uncle and father's family together. So this aunt had this daughter who looked kind of beautiful (imagine angel). So my mother was fond of her (I wasn't born then nor was mum married). She took care of this little girl like her own daughter fairly because angel's (let's call this kid for now) mother (that is my mom's aunt) was physically and verbally abusive to angel even if angel was just 2 years old. So mother pitied that little child. Until the day mom got married. She still describes her separation from angel as "Romeo-Juliet" separation or even more painful than that.
My mom never looked at me the way she did at angel, let alone treat me like she treated her. I was always a burden to her life. If I was being a good child, then only I could try lessening her burden. And so did I do. I stayed a perfect child till I turned 15. I don't know why, maybe because of my father's degrading health and my mother's increased abusive and distant relationship towards him and my little brother. In the school, I flunked my exam and started ditching classes. She stayed silent for long, thinking I would eventually come back to her supposed right track but I didn't and further slipped into depression due to complete loneliness. And finally, she confronted me that I wasn't being normal. I was being mentally disturbed like my father and deserved to be locked up in an asylum.
And I cried last night that I needed to see a therapist but she wont listen, saying I'm just putting up an act to gain attention.
I still sleep all day and skip classes and study nothing. I have no taste in life anymore. I can't find anything I can escape to because I know she'll never allow me to. HELP ME. I DON'T WANT TO DIE.