I totally get all of this. Not entirely from your perspective, but very similar. When I'm not at "home" I have the drive, but as soon as I am, BAM, nothing. I push myself really hard to do things here and do get some done, with the aid of copious cups o' coffee. It's probably not healthy the amount I consume sometimes.
I have nobody in real life I can talk to, except my therapist. I'm beginning to realize that I'm not going to have an intimate, real relationship. I use the word "intimate" not to mean sexual, but where I can bare my soul and know that I'll not be pushed away. I think it's because I need to learn to have that relationship with myself first. That is very hard for me, to open up to myself.