Hi annxo. Sorry for the sadness you feel. It was a difficult decision but it may have been more difficult further down the road if you could not handle a child. You made a mature decision to prevent the difficult situation.

What grief and loss resources have you considered pursuing?

Here are some articles that might be of interest.
https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-tru...rief-and-loss/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/on-losing-a-child/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/a-baby-...-should-we-do/