What do you mean by actually dying? I feel like every day I get a little bit of dying. I won't go into it but I think I understand. So you want to be close to people and have relationships. Schitzotypals usually like solitude I believe. I mainly am close to my immediate family. A couple of friends I haven't talked to in a long time.
My fear of connecting to people is because of trust/paranoia also. #To be honest the stuff I have experienced in the last 10 years or so is so nuts that I think I have some sort of complex ptsd. The strange pains in my eyes, head , body....it is maddening. Everywhere I go seems like a set up. So I just try to enjoy my day and improve my health.
The love and empathy stuff has left me somewhat. I was duped by some religious people while trying to help others, yada, yada, yada...I have a hard time trusting. It would be cool if your friends could help you get what you need. Hope all goes well!