Having spoken to you about this more extensively, I feel like he was pretty up front with you when you brought up exclusivity. I disagree that he would have kicked you to the curb if you hadn't had sex with him. He doesn't sound like that kind of guy. It sounds to me like when the question was brought up, he was pretty honest with you about this problem he has with commitment. He could have lied, but he was honest. There's nothing bad about being honest with what you want and who you are. He didn't take advantage of you.

You were having a casual relationship to start, and then things kept going and you wanted to be exclusive, so you broached the topic. He wasn't ready for that. So you ended it. You did absolutely nothing wrong here. You didn't miss any red flags. You didn't do anything to yourself. Sometimes people don't fit together or aren't at the same place emotionally. It happens. It doesn't mean either one is a bad person or did anything wrong.

I have talked with you a lot. You have a very strong identity and sense of self. You know who you are, you have self confidence, you know what you want. You can take as little or as much time as you want between relationships. It's not like you're jumping from man to man because you need them as a source of identity or because you fear abandonment.

I also don't think it's necessary to "be alone" for any period of time if it's not beneficial. People do that after long relationships when they've lost their sense of self or need to figure out what makes them happy. That is not the case with you. You were with your deadbeat boyfriend for a year; that's not that long. Sometimes the best thing to do, in fact, is get up off the dirt and start throwing fast balls again.

You're doing fine, kid. Don't let other people's judgments get you down. Everyone has opinions, but there's no right or wrong way to live or love. Do what makes you happy.

Seesaw