Hi Lyndee! I spent 15 yrs with NPD husband. Much of what you speak about sounds familiar. I found a lot of good descriptive info on The Narcissist's Wife blog. It was one of my first connections about NPD and helped me realize a lot. In any case, the fact you're here questioning and presenting this data shows you see the red flags. If you're looking for confirmation I'd say yes, those are absolutely red flags. Don't dismiss it or talk yourself out of seeing them. I was like a shadow after years spent this way. You can't imagine.