Today I received two late Christmas cards from two cousins I haven't spoken to in years. I know for a fact, that they don't have my current street address, and despite being connected on Facebook they never contacted me to ask me for my street address.

The only person who could have given them my address is my sister who is Facebook friends with them and me.

The reason why I feel like this is a betrayal is the very disconnected relationship I have with these two cousins.

Cousin #1 wrote me a very snarky note at my grad school graduation, "If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there," a quote by writer Lewis Carroll. Not exactly the standard, "congrats on your hard work in your grad program" graduation card message. She knew that I hadn't passed my licensure test again because my sister gossips about me behind my back (she's done this to me, my entire life, and she lies about it whenever I confront her about doing this to me). Cousin #1 and I aren't close and have very opposing values and worldview from each other.

Cousin #2 groomed me to have sex with him, sexually harassing me, on a family vacation when we were teenagers, then telling everyone he wanted to have sex with me. We were only 14 and 15 years old. He was always crossing lines like that, as I recall. Not someone you could trust.

Cousin #2 also insulted Cousin #1 at her wedding and nearly got sent to the E.R. by Cousin #1's new husband. He asked her to dance, and asked her why she got married if she "bats for the other team." Well, Cousin #1's new husband was ready to pumel Cousin #2 and none of us defended Cousin #2's inappropriate behavior. I didn't even go to Cousin #2's wedding; I was told at his wedding, his speech consisted of sharing the reason why he got married was because he knocked up his fiance and didn't want to have a bastard child.

I'm not Facebook friends with Cousin #2 or his siblings or my aunt and uncle (I was with my uncle at one point, until he berated me on my own Facebook page for being a liberal Democrat, and posting literary quotes with curse words, because he's a holier than thou type who puts on the act of kind, quiet person but is a very manipulative person who lies a lot). So, to get a Christmas card from him at all, was a shock to my system. My sister knows that he groomed me and sexually harassed me. So, why would she give him my street address? Or, was it Cousin #1 who gave Cousin #2 my street address?

Neither Cousin #1 or #2 even signed their Christmas cards to me, which were a family photo. Talk about no effort made to reach out write something about Christmas, etc.

I'm just very put off by this experience. First, if you want my address, then ask ME for it. Don't go behind my back and get it from my sister. That just seems so disingenuous to me. I mean, why not just ask me for my address if you're already Facebook friends with me? It makes no sense.

I can't help but wonder if my sister gossiped to our Cousin #1 about what she knew Cousin #2 did to me when we were teenagers, and she and Cousin #1 thought it would be a cruel joke to give Cousin #2 my street address? I could be reaching, but I can't think of why I only received Christmas cards from those two random family members. No one sends me Christmas cards. Not even my sister. It feels like my sister betrayed my trust.