Vinpin, if there's one thing I've learned dealing with estranged siblings and parents, it's to expect major push-back from our toxic family members, when we finally stand up to them with healthy boundaries and realistic expectations. They don't want us to have healthy boundaries or realistic expectations with them, because 1) they don't respect us as a person and never will, no matter WHAT we do, and 2) because they don't want us to relinquish our role as the family scapegoat in the dysfunctional family system.

I've written letters like that to family my entire life with the same result you got; the family members I wrote to, pushed back and refused to give me what I asked them for (respect, healthy boundaries).

Your parents will never feel guilty for destroying your happiness. They don't respect you. They continue to manipulate you, because they exploit your vulnerability to meet their need to control you.

The best thing that you can do is to accept that your parents will never be the kind of parents that you deserve. They are the parents you are stuck with. I had to learn that the hard way with my parents and my siblings. My family is super dysfunctional and they will NEVER be the type of people I deserve to have as siblings and as parents (my father is deceased). It's very upsetting and I'm still grieving the loss of the family I deserve to have but didn't get.

It's futile to expect your parents to come around to you, and admit they have been wrong and have been bad parents to you. If you have a strong emotional support system around you outside of your sister and your parents, rely on those people for emotional support only.

It stinks that your parents are jerks to you. But they will never change, unfortunately. Stop giving away your power to them. Stop feeding the wrong wolf (a quote from one of my favorite movies, "Tomorrowland").