Quote:
Originally Posted by Quarter life
Hi Cielpur.
I would certainly have a word in your sisters ear for a start, as you may just be making assumptions at this point. If she indeed passed on personal details without your permission, then politely ask her to not do this again without ok'ing it through you. As for the other 2...I wouldn't worry or fret about it too much. Them sending you a Xmas card means that they were thinking about you, even if it was a direct attempt to upset you it reveals that they are unhappy in their lives....Otherwise they wouldn't have even bothered.
Please don't take their childish spiteful actions to heart...start the New Year in the knowledge that you are the bigger persons by flipping off their bad form.
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Thanks Quarter life. I hope you're doing well.
Before I just read your post, I did send my sister and Cousin #1 a Facebook message. I asked them both why either of them gave out my address without my permission to our Cousin #2, and expressed to Cousin #1 that I wished she would have just asked me directly for my address than go through my sister.
Now, knowing them both as I do, I will not be surprised to receive blowback from my sister and Cousin #1 when they read my Facebook message. My sister already blocks me from her Facebook wall yet keeps me as a Facebook friend, as does Cousin #1.
The two of them have a history of doing petty, mean things to me. So, it wouldn't surprise me if i never find out the truth from either of them. I am foolish to keep asking them to respect me, when time and time again, they show me that they don't want to.
I'm trying to start the New Year off by no longer repressing my feelings to the toxic people in my life when they do stuff like this to me. Even if it means they pushback with more petty behavior as a response to me asking them to be respectful to me. At least I'm finally speaking up for myself. It's futile in a sense, because they will never change their low opinion of me no matter what I do. But, at the same time, I am tired of being a doormat and swallowing my feelings and internalizing their emotional abuse.
The real tragedy will be when my sister cuts me off from communication with her three children. The dynamic is: as long as I continue to play the doormat to my sister, she lets me occasionally see her children at their birthday and Christmas and Thanksgiving but that's it. If and when I assert myself, she then temporarily gives me the silent treatment after berating me, and cuts me off from communication with her three children.
In my family, I'm not allowed to speak up for myself and I am tired of allowing that dysfunctional dynamic to continue. It has to stop. Life is short. I want to be happy. I am tired of people esp. family members treating me this way.