I would advize you to stop all writing for the purpose of trying to reach an understanding with them. The texting is just electronic letter-writing. I think it's just as futile.

There is an old saying that other people can't make you feel any particular way. I know that sounds cliche. And I know people certainly do affect how we feel. But there is truth in that saying. Your parents aren't making you feel like a P.O.S. Why should you? Here is what you're saying: "I can't feel okay about myself, unless you let me feel okay about myself." You are trying to make your parents feel guilty that they have destroyed your happiness. You are giving them way too much power. It makes me think that it's good they have moved far away. You are way too emotionally involved with them. I base that on you needing them to be a certain way before you can be happy. Move on with living your life and understand that they are never going to be the parents you have wished they were.