That's an intense memory, alex. Sounds indeed like you are trying to process it. (I know what my T would say--let's do some EMDR.) I hope you can continue to work through these traumatic times from your past. CBT style coping strategies, such as the breathing, etc., can help us get through these hard patches of remembering, but they do not help us process and get unstuck. The approach to take depends on what the person's goal is.

Very brave of you to bring this up in therapy. I'm sorry you have to leave T at such a critical time. I hope you can keep in touch by email.

Are you visiting BF in the U.S.? What part of the country are you going to? Welcome!