Thank you all so much for your kind words.

Refractedlight - your post was so eloquently written and very thought provoking. You sound like a very intelligent person to me and so I wouldn’t worry about people being smarter than you. As for people being kinder, well I think you taking the time to write a reply to my post is a kind thing to do, so it proves you are very kind. I know I (and most of us on here) struggle to believe my own self worth, but I certainly see it in others. I guess that’s what is so cruel about this illness.
You really hit the nail on the head when you said that we just want to be understood. I try to tell my Mum that, that all I need is just someone to talk to me, sympathise and just tell me it will all work out in the end (even though they don’t know that for sure!) I’m such a pessimist, that sometimes I just need someone to be positive for me. However, I know the sad truth is a lot of people are quite selfish, wrapped up in there own little world and just can’t be bothered to help. They find it draining so they avoid you. I can’t really judge as it doesn’t make them bad people and maybe I’d be the same if I never knew what it felt like to be truly depressed and hopeless.

Jennifer1967 - I was only just looking at therapists today. I used to chat to my GP who was like my rock, but sadly he was forced into early retirement due to crippling arthritis, so I no longer see him [emoji20] obviously I know it’s not his fault, but this sent me into a real spin as I hate change and I’ve never been back to the doctors since (that was about 2 years ago now) because I know I’ll never find someone that could relate to me like he could. I have Aspergers and his daughter was Autistic, so he was so understanding and could relate.

Once again, thank you to all of you for being there and offering support, it means more than you know.