I’m so sorry to hear all that you’ve gone through in the last 9 months. Everybody is so lovely on here, so you have definitely come to the right place.

This is just my 10 cents and by no means accurate (as I don’t know your wife personally), but it sounds to be that your wife could be a narcissist. I don’t like labelling people, so I can’t be sure, but what you describe sounds all too familiar. My ex was a narcissist and the patterns of behaviour you describe are very similar. He changed jobs more times than the weather (I live in England so trust me that’s a lot! lol) he was obsessed with material things and used those things to hide behind. Deep down he was very insecure and I just felt that the whole time he was running away from who he really was and his past. He also had a very split personality and would try to turn everything around on me. I loved him and this made me so blind, that he would almost fool me into thinking things were my fault. He would come in and out of my life, just using me for his own ego. Looking back he never cared about me at all.

If your wife is a narcissist, then trust me they are poison and you are so much better off out of it. I know it hurts right now, but you will think the same way I do someday. If she isn’t a narcissist then you are sill better off out of it, because she is obviously toying with you and that’s not the way to treat anyone. It won’t do your mental health any good and will deplete your confidence and self worth. You will go on living your life in hope and wondering when she will next pick you up, only to drop you from a great height, days, weeks or months later. It will be a viscous cycle you can never get out of.

You sound like a great person and you deserve someone to treat you right. Please maintain respect for yourself and do not let anyone treat you any less than you would treat someone else. Please stay strong and know that we are all here for you.