Hey. It has just been in learning skills like distraction and mindful awareness etc that I've found myself aware of having a choice. Before that... Felt involountary, yeah. I guess I've learned something about the things that get me into that space and the things that sustain it. Knowing I have a choice makes it much more bearable to experience, yeah. It can feel terrifying when you think you are trapped there, huh. Hang in there.

I'm in the US for a little over three weeks. The week before that t is having a couple days off over a long weekend. With my sessions being on Monday and Friday... But I guess I'll be worried about packing and stuff so it won't be so bad. Hopefully things will go alright once I'm there, yeah. And he will be here when I get back, I guess.

Yeah. I miss snuggling! At least it will be winter :-) Would be too hot to snuggle here :-(