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Old Jan 09, 2018, 09:19 PM
Anonymous43456
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Quote:
Originally Posted by golden_eve View Post
Neither. I asked him about being exclusive and gave him the choice. I said either was fine.
This sentence stood out to me, because of the indecisiveness. Were you indecisive because what he wanted mattered more to you than what you wanted? Be careful that you don't put your needs second. Doing that will send mixed messages to the guy about what you actually want. Don't be so quick to throw away your power, by giving the guy a choice. Don't set yourself up to be his option, when you deserve to be his priority. And you can't be a priority if you are indecisive about what you want and how you communicate it.

So, don't be afraid to speak up for what you expect or want from the guy. After all, you won't get your needs met if you don't say what they are. I learned that lesson the hard way myself.

I was in your situation 8 years ago when I dated a recently divorced man in his late 30s. Biggest mistake of my life, because his words didn't match his actions.

Recently divorced men need to come with a warning label, like a new prescription. Even if the product appears safe, that doesn't necessarily mean you won't have an allergic reaction to it, until you've taken a few doses first.

Sorry for the silly analogy, but as soon as I read that your ex was recently divorced I cringed, because those men are in a category all their own. They have no business dating another person until they process and grieve the loss of their marriage, so that they can be emotionally available to another person whom they date.

Right now you're in pain. I've been there. It will hurt for a while. But if he really was the right guy for you, at the right time, nothing would prevent you two from being together and in sync.

Hang in there. Each day will get better with time.