Hi all
Sorry i wrote a big reply before but it doesnt seem to have appeared!
I binged on rubbish tonight. No idea why I was doing it! Then i tried to make myself sick. I couldnt even get that bit right!
I suppose I feel if I go and see a colleague professionally then I'm only wasting everyones time because I know I don't feel ready to stop this, whatever it is that 'this' is!
I suppose I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
My first post yesterday was the first time I had admitted I think I might have a problem. But I also know I don't feel ready to stop and I know if I get help then that is what they will expect me to do.
Esther, please don't apologise! I know you didnt mean anything by it, I suppose it just shows me how warped my mind is becoming if I get stressed that I am considered of 'normal' weight! It's like 'what is it I actually want?' Do I want to be ok or do I want to be thin?
At the moment I don't know!
I think if I tell people I know in 'real life' it will only drive me further underground with this.
Sorry to go on like this!
You must all be screaming at your screens at me!
I feel really fat and disgusting now I ate all that chocolate!