I am sorry you are struggling so much. It is very difficult to break away from a long-term relationship that has so much invested. However, this is not a healthy relationship. Love should not involve emotional pain and hurt. It seems very tumultuous, and yes, it seems impossible to make changes given his responses and his lack of desire to change and make improvements.

My advice? Get out while you can. You are still young and can meet someone else to have children with. This will continue on as it is, and he will not change, unless he made a sincere commitment to therapy. This will continue to be very tumultuous and difficult. It seems very toxic for you. And the fact that you don't want to be intimate with him for two years says it all.

These articles may help you distinguish healthy vs. unhealthy relationships and also define emotional and verbal abuse:

https://happinessblog.net/unhealthy-relationships/

https://happinessblog.net/verbal-and...relationships/