It may be beneficial to think about what acting out, self-harming and ending up inpatient gives you. My best guess would be that it gives you attention, and people to care about you. There is nothing wrong with being honest about how we are feeling...but acting out to get inpatient in order to get attention does waste a bed that someone else might really need.

Is there anybody in your life that you can talk and vent to when times are tough? A close friend, family member, or romantic partner? Even calling a crisis line/warm line without the intention of going IP can be helpful.