Quote:
Originally Posted by jtassar93
Why do I get extra depressed the later it gets? I’m usually home alone all day everyday and I’m fine with that. Just my normal depression but I’m not lonely. Onc it hits like 3am I get extremely depressed about anything and everything. One tiny thing will set me off. I would be just fine and then bam. I wake up feeling better but then it starts again.
Also I’ve been talking to someone I met in high school lately and got a little close. But I’m just over the whole thing? I don’t want to be his friend anymore. I don’t know why I feel that way. I want more than anything to have 1 or 2 great friends but I do this? I just texted him that I don’t want to talk to him anymore and I don’t have any feelings about it. I’m not sad or feel guilty .. is that wrong?
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I too push people away when they get too close, it’s a defense mechanism for me. Getting close is way too scary and uncomfortable, pushing them away is easier than fearing & expecting their rejection. And yes, I can and have cut people off without a second thought or a hint of remorse, usually for good reason.... Well according to me at least.
Nothing to do with BP tho, I have a comorbid BPD dx, which is what causes these types of upheavals in my personal life.
I also have noticed that when my moods are reactionary, it’s usually 9/10 times not my BP either, but once again BPD being the culprit. Therapy and DBT has helped me manage and untangle this mess immensely over the years.