this helps so much to know that others have gotten into embarrassing situations when manic. one time i ended up in a local cemetary with an alcoholic war vet. i did not want to be found. i was dirty hadnt showered in a few days was drinking. when my husband found it escalated into a big embarrassing scene. i refused to go with him he told the man i was with to leave & he did i got very violent & hard to handle. the cops were called & they had to subdue me i was face down on the ground with handcuffs on so tight i thought my wrists would break. i felt like i was in a haze--i remember looking over & here came my mom. i had kept trying to throw myself over the steep embankment going down to the creek. they sat me down on the side of the four lane (small town) with cars going by & people staring. i just remember sitting there with my head down crying & digging my fingers down into the dirt with the cuffs still on. my dad had arrived & was livid at the way they were treating me. i was taken to an overnight holding place by a state trooper for mentally ill intoxicated type people. he was actually kind & talked to me on the way down in the car. he wrote a ticket for public intoxication but told me to get a hold of him in a few days & he would come & talk to me & see about tearing it up. he made good on his promise but this incident along with numerous others in my small town make me just want to lock myself inside. the shame can be toxic as it can just feed everything going on already in my mind.