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But we both have our issues and baggage, and I fear I'M being toxic too.
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No matter who is more toxic, this is not working and it has not been working for quite some time.
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I've tried sharing internet articles but he is very dismissive, rolling his eyes at words like "stonewalling" and "gasslighting," both of which he does. It's all fake internet psychology designed to feed women's victim identities.
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He won't listen to you, he sneers at you, he does not respect your mind or take you seriously. He also does not respect outside professionals. He just wants to "win".
What does "winning" mean for him? It means to humiliate you, to be able to crow, to lord things over you.
All of the above means that trying to change things with him, which has been futile for a long time, will continue to be futile. Futile.
My advice is to leave.