Recently out of IP so I took some baby steps today. I took the garbage can out, did some dishes, and grocery shopped. So I'm glad I'm doing a little better. Taking some baby steps to my recovery from this nasty depressive episode. I'm still not 100% better but I'll get there. It's really the little things I didn't notice I wasn't doing while being depressed. Like forgetting to not take the garbage can out, that seemed like a huge task to me but it's not anymore. I was in IP for 5 days and I think it helped me out a bit. Wayy more than my first time being in IP 7 years ago. I was in there for 2 weeks that time and I was terrified the entire time, so I didn't get much out of it. But this time I just accepted the help and took in as much as I could, like a little sponge. There's been times where I should've been in IP but was soo scared so I wouldn't be honest, but I'm no longer afraid of being in there really. So that's a positive thing that's happened. I'm still trying to manage losing my brother to sui on X-Mas day but I just try not to think about it as much as possible because I don't want to undo the bandage yet. I'll dig into my feelings about that more with my therapist when I'm strong enough and ready to. But so far things are looking up, except my car issues and my back giving me hell today .. but those things can go away and/or be fixed. Just waiting to hear back from my lawyer about my disability case is taking forever it seems like. I called her when I got out like I was supposed to but she hasn't gotten around to calling me back yet. I'm supposed to have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow but since my car is on the outs we're trying to arrange something else so that I can still get the extra therapy I need right now. They wouldn't fill my Ativan prescription because the pharmacy said I need to see the pdoc first on the 22nd .. they don't like giving out benzos. Which is understandable but it's the first thing that's ever worked on my anxiety, so I'm hoping we can come to an agreement on that end. Other than that, I'll keep taking my baby steps. I plan on cleaning the kitchen tomorrow, that's my task for the day.