School was hell for me, most feelings you are describing, a lot of us have experienced. I have also been suicidal several times and I know what it's like to see an empty future but I'm still here and alive and glad I haven't taken my own life.

It's fine if you have big aspirations and it's also fine if you don't end up achieving them. That doesn't say anything about you as a person. I wanted to become a NASA scientist and I wanted to become a dancer at the same time. I didn't follow either of those things lol. I wanted everything and nothing all at once. It drove me crazy and I still experience these moods/thoughts to this day (I'm 29 now). You don't neccessarily have to make life decisions right now, just because society tells you to or especially when you are in that state of mind. I kinda always went against society but that's just me. I do believe, however, you should finish school.

I understand that it feels extra hard to deal with everything when your friends/family can't support you. No one has ever supported me emotionally or mentally. All the work is mine and I'm proud of it. I'm not trying to brag, I'm just saying it's possible. You are so much stronger than you think/feel! And more importantly, you are worth this life Life can be pretty amazing if you give it a chance.

I know everything looks hard and even simple things feel so difficult but remember, nothing lasts forever whether it's bad or good. Happiness is only a feeling and making it a destination is just not gonna work cause that's not real. No one is happy all the time, even if it looks like it. And I agree with the posts above that taking a step at a time is more achievable and less overwhelming. Ask yourself, why do you need to do the things you think you need to do right now? It seems you're being hard on yourself and pressuring yourself too much. Try to take it easy as much as you can and you'll figure out one thing at a time. I don't know how your life will turn out but I can promise you that what you are feeling will not last forever cause it's not possible.

I'm sorry for the long reply, hope you will feel better soon