Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I disagree.
I love my niece and nephews deerly but at no point they are my children, they are treated as very much loved niece and nephews, but they have parents. They are not treated “less than”. But I am not going to pretend I can replace their parents just because I love them!
One can love and treat stepkids wonderfully too but still not consider them your children especially if there are parents in the picture!. My daughter has wonderful stepmom but at no point I or my daughter expect or want her stepmom act as my daughter is her kid! What for? It doesn’t mean anything is “less than”. My daughter has a mother! It’s me! She isn’t denied to have a mother in her life! She has one!
Now my brother and sister in law adopted a child whose mother died and dad gave up his rights. My brother and sis in law adopted him and most certainly they took on a role of complete parenting. But the kid in this thread has parents! Mom and dad! Why would someone expect a girlfriend, not even a wife, act as she is child’s mother is ridiculous to me.
Frankly a man didn’t marry s woman for 8 years yet expects she becomes a mother to his kid. Kid who already has a mother! This is just unrealistic
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Based on the OP’s own post, his girlfriend IS treating his son as “less than.” That’s the problem. I did not say the girlfriend has to think of the boy as her own or have him call her mom or anything, but if the two children live in the same house, they absolutely should be treated equally. They should both be shown the same kind of outwardly loving gestures and have the same privileges and responsibilities. Even if the girlfriend feels more love for her own child internally, outwardly, she should treat the children the same. To do otherwise is to damage the child. This is especially true since his own mom seems to have problems and is unable to give him the love or attention he clearly needs. When I have dated single parents, I do not pretend the child is mine but I do treat the child with love and it is genuine. I would not treat a partner’s child differently than I would treat my own child— especially if I had been there since the child was a baby. It is different if your partner has adult children who are already raised. My (now ex) partner had a 7 month old baby when we started dating and I treated her as I would my own child— without pretending to actually be her mom.