Rambling moment... would appreciate if someone who was online could reply to me as I feel a bit down :-(

Today was a bit weird... I just got home from a date with her. We went to the circus. It was great and I kept up a brave face but my anxiety was off the charts insanely. My mind would NOT stop resting. I was constantly thinking about her, getting married to her, could I handle having kids with herand being trapped?, looking at her face everyday forever?, sitting next to her for the next 40 years? Reeeeally dumb stuff that no rational person should even entertain thinking at this early stage.

Theres also a little bit of pressure because she herself has an eating disorder (so has her own anxiety issues) and my best mate set us up so I will feel bad if I end it. Shes also told me she really likes me and every time she does, I panic.

I have been single for 3 years and dont enjoy being single because I yearn to be with someone and feel loved and am super envious of others that are coupled up, but when I DO get coupled (or at least simply start to), I get this severe, intense, unhealthy anxiety.

The anxiety is not allowing me to go with the flow. Shes lovely, but I'm unable to make an accurate assessment of weather or not I am truly into her, or if I am really into her, but my anxiety is too severe.

I can't win. I shouldn't have to go on meds again or start therapy again just to have a relationship should I?