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You are not a crappy human. You just as much as anyone else are deserving of compassion. Perhaps, you need more help than you are getting, but to get better you must put one foot in front of the other. It does you no good to waller in self hatred.
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One Step Into Nihilism, One Step Into Inner Peace
My Personal Blog
Mental Queries (Personal Non-Journal Type Blog. Most philosophy type of things.)
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