When will I EVER find somebody that I'm actually physically attracted to, who's actually physically attracted to me? I'm not ugly. In fact a lot of people have called me pretty, and that I could be a model or an actress. So why are none of the guys I actually find attractive interested in me back? Why does this have to be so hard? Do I not deserve somebody that I feel excited about meeting? Do I not deserve to be loved by someone that I love with equal intensity, and get butterflies in my stomach about?

Also, I know that appearances aren't everything, and there are many things I look for in a potential partner that matter more than looks, such as being a nice, moral person and having a common goal/vision in life. But looks still matter a lot. I'm done apologizing about it. I wish I could just have what others seem to have easily, who look like me and are my age.

I can never surmount this pattern of being interested in people who aren't interested in me, and vice versa. I've never even been in a relationship yet because of this. I've never been kissed or had sex even, and I'm 27 years old. I wish I knew what young teenage love would have been like, had there been a boy I liked who liked me back. All I've ever had is unrequited celebrity crushes instead. I feel more and more alone and weird compared to everybody else.