Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I agree about treating children equally. Any children in the household should be treated equally regardless if and how they are related to you. I think I mainly have an issue with people talking about “loving someone’s child as your own” or play “mommy” or “daddy”. That is too much to ask. Sorry, ain’t happening. But certainly treating equally is absolutely needed.
Ps I’ve met people who insisted that whoever they are dating are now their child’s new “mommy” or “daddy”. That’s also equally damaging to a child
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I do think it’s possible to love your partner’s child as your own. It’s not required but, over time, it certainly can happen. When I was with my ex, I helped her raise her daughter from when she was 7 months old. I loved her that way, though it was clear I was not her actual parent. I did, however, spend every day with the child while her actual second parent saw her maybe two or three times in the span of years.
If someone insists their new gf/bf is the child’s new mommy/daddy, I agree that is inappropriate and damaging. Especially if this happens repeatedly with each new gf/bf. I think it’s different if a long term stepmom or stepdad because the de-facto second parent. Many children live primarily with their mom or dad and a stepparent and I see nothing wrong if the child and step-parent form a strong parental bond. I think whoever the child lives with on a regular, long-term basis should be fulfilling the parental functions and giving the child love. If the child’s biological parent is incapable of doing that, I think it is a “plus” if the step-parent is able to do that.