Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
In other threads you speak about your childhood. I wonder if your childhood is affecting the possibility of having a relationship.
When someone seems to want attachment with you, you could be reminded that close relationships bring pain. Both your mother and your father taught you that. And by seeking those who are unavailable, you perhaps protect yourself from what your childhood taught you to be inevitable: great pain in connection with attachments.
You said in another thread of yours that you gained a lot from therapy. I wonder if you had the chance in therapy to discuss what you posted here.
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I know all too well that I've been gypped with bad parents who taught me I'm never good enough, and had a HORRIBLE marriage that ended in a BEYOND HORRIBLE divorce. Right now I'm going through a terrible rage and resentment at how my childhood upbringing screwed me over and prevented me from having the life I deserve to have. I didn't choose this. I didn't choose to be stunted and held back.
The fact is, I'm stuck in rage mode because I'm afraid that I don't know HOW to get beyond this. Like I'm just broken forever. Nobody's teaching me how to get out of it. I guess I do need to go back to therapy. My last therapist said I was doing good enough that I could try stopping therapy, and see how I do. I feel ashamed to go back.