I struggle with Shame so much and I don't think my therapist understood how badly until I wrote him a email recently blaming myself completely and hating myself for having feelings about something..... and now he wants to try and help me re-wire my way of thinking, I feel hopeless about that

Anyway, my shame stems from growing up with a Narcissist mom.... and being shamed for things like crying, having crushes, watching shows with sex on them, talking to boys etc, it manifested over the years and now it's so bad, I can't feel any emotions but shame/guilt or happy/content without feeling massive shame overtaking me, it's evil

I am sorry you struggle with it too. I wish I had good advice to work through it but I do not