It has to do with taking something at someone else's expense. The motivation might vary slightly, but control has to be really big. I hesitate any time anything says always, because somewhere there might be an exception, but I voted yes anyway.

There may be variations on control, from the power rush of taking something from anyone they choose, to testing how far they can get their SO or other to bend and give in. My husband has a mentality where he has said his "measure of being cared about" is how far someone will inconvenience themselves for his sake. If he knows I don't want to do something or give up something or give him something, then he wants just that, because he would feel cared about if I gave up something hard for me. But it backfires, because I resent it when I feel coerced or tricked or cheated. I'm suspicious of any gifts that he gives me, wondering what he wants or what it is going to cost me, or when he will expect me to give it up after I have become attached. When is he going to start complaining that I spend too much time on it when he wants me to spend more time on him. What does he want me to do or give up because he's a martyr and gave up everything he wanted to get something for me. It's really not worth it.

Those attitudes, maybe to a larger degree, are probably pretty close to the attitudes behind some rapists. I don't know if this is entirely relevant in this thread, but this thread brought up some very strong feelings for me. I can't give a complete explanation here, but it does. I'm not sure if I was ever raped, but sex often or usually feels like abuse to me, to one degree or another. And it's a fine line between sexual abuse and rape, probably with a lot of overlap. Especially to those of us with large parts of ourselves that never grew up, and still feel childlike.