Golden, I agree that the recent guy didn’t use you. He at no point lied or claimed anything that wasn’t true. You just wanted different things.

But you have to admit that the other guy was a different story. Of course he was in love with you but still he took advantage of you. He lived with you (you took him in because he was homeless)!not contributing financially and you fully supported him, while he didn’t even look for a job, you said he owes you Thousands of dollars and was supposed to pay you back, I doubt he ever will (he could start sending even 20 bucks a month, but he doesn’t), he also stole from you, which is completely unbelievably awful. I’d say all that qualifies for “using”. He was also verbally abusive to you while you lived together. Who does that?

BUT it doesn’t mean he wasn’t in love with you. Some people are just so unhealthy that even if they love you, they can’t help it but act in unhealthy manner, particularly using others or taking advantage of their generosity.

It’s also important to look into people’s actions more than words. Do people act as they really love us by acting and treating us accordingly? Do they cherish us through their actions towards us? Do they express their love through actions of “giving”?