it was actually the fact that I was looking up the stuff that I was diagnosed with.... if a doctor told me that I had Bipolar I went and looked it up so I knew what it was all about and what types of therapies and drugs were used to help with it.... he wasn't understanding that I was looking up the background of what the disorders were not what I thought I had.... I will be with a new therapist as of the 30th of January... I talked to the head of the place that I go to and she changed the person I will be seeing to a different person that she thinks will work better with me... we found out that my meds that I was on weren't a high enough dosage for me instead of it helping completely it was actually a hindrance... now that my meds are regulated and they have me on a combination of meds instead of just the one I am doing much better and feeling great... it took 3 days in the hospital and maintenance of my meds to the right levels but I am finally getting to a normalcy that I have never had before... it is sure great being able to look forward to my future instead of looking at it as a never ending cycle of pain and suffering for me.

thanks to you all for the support ... I knew there was a reason that I was drawn to this site and I now know that I am far from being alone in this world... they plan to give me a couple of months to get used to the new dosage and new meds then will be getting me on a couple others to help with the other issues like Anxiety.... I look forward to the day that I can make plans to leave the house without totally panicking.