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This is something I really need to look at. Maybe I need to work on fixing the unhealthy parts of myself. Something is off in me, for this to be happening. I should not want him to contact me at all. I should be saying goodbye and good riddance, you son of a biotch. But I haven't been for two plus months. Not until just recently, this week... yesterday, when I felt a shift in my thinking - and for the first time in over two months feeling like, who cares if he contacts me or not? Best if he doesn't! He needs to be out of my life!!!
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Something is off in me, for this to be happening.
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You are lonely and you miss the times this man was loving towards you. Your just human golden.