There are many wonderful programs for autistic children. Many are state funded or on a pay scale. I have seen wonderful results in a little boy that has a class where I worked. That is something I would look into immediately.
I can understand how you feel. You are the total support mental and physical for your family. That can wear out anyone in a short time. But why do you resent your husbands effort to thank you. I do not understand that. Dont you think he feels like a burden already! I wish I could be more supportive, but what if it was you in this situation! Maybe if you find someone to be there so you can get away once in a while to just relax, go to the show or whatever! Maybe you could come to the support chat here. Maybe some of the members would have some helpful advise. Good luck to you